We flew from Kuala Lumpur to Brunei, which was bland and hot a kingdom owned by an oil-rich Sultan, and with a population that has, according to our guide, more cars per capita than any country in the world, thanks to a generous annual distribution check from the treasury of oil revenues. The Empire Hotel and Golf Club was opulent (understatement), situated on a beautiful stretch of beachfront coast and with a lobby with about an acre of glass windows, 10 stories high and overlooking the water. The Empire is probably the only seaside resort to stay at in Brunei—however, we thought that the service was not even close to what one might expect in such a highly rated hotel. But, maybe we were just irritable over the no alcohol rules!

The Empire was an amazing contrast to Malaysia's Shangri La Rasa Ria Resort, located in Saba near Kota Kinabalu. Unbelievable...a staff that bent over backwards to anticipate your every desire. Rooms (Ocean Wing) all overlooked the private pool, beach, and the South China Sea. Outdoor two-person tubs on the balconies (deep enough for a motorboat), spacious and graciously appointed accommodations (ask for a second floor room as the balconies are larger than on higher floors, but you still get the view). Numerous on-resort restaurants, several pools, and did I mention the Orangutan Rehabilitation Sanctuary (additional fees to enter, but well worth it)? Water monitors, hornbills, a Slow Loris, and of course the juvenile orangutans—up close and personal, and with patience, posing for the occasional Kodak moment. This was a magical place we all wanted to call home—and would definitely return to.

Kuching and Batang Ai Hilton Longhouse Resort were fascinating, taking us closer to the older cultures of Malaysia. Our journey to Batang Ai started with a 2 1/2 hour car ride through palm oil and rubber plantations and lush jungle. That was followed by a 45-minute ride on the local ferry across the lake to Batang Ai Hilton (only accessible by boat). Batang Ai is a close proxy to staying in a long house, but with the benefit of central air in the bedrooms. Lamplight and ceiling fans on the decks and dining room give one the sense of the plantation era.

The next day, we journeyed a further 30-minute ride in dugout motor launches to an Iban river village. While somewhat 'corrupted' by modern ways, the Iban village we visited was still guarded by hand carved ironwood posts to ward off the evil spirits. The people of the village we visited welcomed us with traditional dances, and shared rice wine and lunch with us. We were previously instructed to bring gifts for the families (37 in all), which in our case was individual packets of cooking salts.

If you want to see this way of life, get there soon, as several of the village elders still display traditional native body tattoos and piercing. Wait a couple of years, and all you're going to see is the omnipotent angels, roses and barbed wire arm tats. We practiced with the blow-guns. Laura almost tagged an LBD (little brown dog) with her dart, and we ate our meal on the floor of the 'house' owned by the village's chief and his family. We really enjoyed the chance to speak with them and raise a toast of OOOOOOH HA!

Kuching—an historical city—unlike Kuala Lumpur, is constructed along the river, with water taxis trolling for customers and lots of market stalls within walking distance of the Kuching Hilton were we stayed. If you look closely in some of the back rooms of the riverfront souvenir stores you'll find antique masks, wooden body armor, ironwood carvings, arrows, quivers and scary hand-made pieces that will keep away evil spirits, and perhaps some of your less adventurous friends. If you appreciate the cultural history of Borneo, the stories of cannibals, head-hunters, and white Rajas—you'll want to think about shipping back a steamer trunk, or better yet, a container, full of the older trophies—legally available for purchase and export, intriguing and unique in their design.

Yes, we'd go back, but maybe skip Brunei, and I think I'll find another authentic Witch Doctor mask on the streets of Kuching or among the Iban villages.

--Thomas Knoop